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Real Classic Defn
1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than
a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water-power.
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than
a five day test.
3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master
4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through "the minds of either".
6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest piece.
8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water-power.
9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
10. Conference
Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees
later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt
before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can
be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : An opportunist is a one who when find himself in hot water decides to take a
bath.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not
injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter
in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer
Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees
later on.
11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt
before.
12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17. Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can
be done together.
18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
19. Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip.
22. Opportunist : An opportunist is a one who when find himself in hot water decides to take a
bath.
23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not
injured yet."
24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter
in word OPPORTUNITY.
25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
31. Computer
Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......
Latest page update: made by Anonymous, Feb 20 2007, 8:10 AM EST
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Edited anonymously
498 words added
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- complete history)
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