In Trains And Taxis

Passenger : Is the Howrah Express arriving on
time?
Master : We are not worried about trains
arriving on time so long as they are on a rails.

A man was standing in the middle of railway
track with
A packet in his hand. A passenger asked him why
he was standing
There. He replied that he was disgusted with
life. So, he
Wanted to commit suicide by throwing himself
before a running
Train.
The passenger asked him : “But why are you
keeping a packet
In your hand.
The man replied : “you know, trains often run
late”.

A ticket collector in a train told a passenger
who was having a cigarette in his mouth a a
match box in his hand :
“This is a non-smoking compartment.
The passenger said that he was not smoking. The
ticket Collector then asked him why he was
holding a cigarette in His mouth”.
He replied : “ You see, I am wearing my shoes.
But I am not walking”. On arriving at the
railway platform, with his family and luggage, a
man asked his wife: “Have you kept the tickets
Safely”.
She replied: “Of course. I have kept them in the
Almirah ( locker ) at home”.

A first class passenger in a train was having
Chewing gum in his mouth. Opposite to his seat
was an elderly Woman. After a few minutes, woman
told him, “I appreciate Your kindness in wanting
to talk to me. But I am sorry to Tell you that I
am deaf”.
Husband – I see that of every hundred persons
for Traveling without ticket, eighty five are
women.
Wife : That shows that woman are more economical
then Men.

A man entered a crowded railway carriage and
placed a Heavy trunk on the rack. A nervous
passenger eyed as it Balanced precariously “ I
say”, he said at last, “do you Think that is
safe”. “ Oh yes”, said the man. “It is locked “.

When a group of women entered a tram, every seat
was Occupied. Conductor noticed one man who
seemed to be sleeping. Fearing that he might
miss his stop, conductor woke him up. The man
protested saying that he was not asleep.
Conductor. But you had your eyes closed.
Man said: I closed my eyes because I hate to
look at Women standing in a crowded tram.

A woman from the country-side went to the city
and boarded a taxi. As soon as she took her
seat, the taxi started going very fast, narrowly
missing accidents. She shouted at the driver
saying: Be careful this is the first time I
travel in a Taxi.
Driver : That is all right. This is the first
time I am driving a taxi.