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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Feb 28 2007, 7:39 AM EST (current) | Anonymous | 692 words added |
| Feb 28 2007, 7:38 AM EST | Anonymous |
Changes
Key: Additions Deletions
Humour In Capsule Form
Actor : A person who tries to be everything
except himself.
Adult : An adult is a person who has toffed
growing at both ends and started growing in the
middle.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice?
Bore: A person whose short coming is his long
staying; And also one who insists on talking
about himself when you Want to talk about
yourself.
Civilization: A process of creating more needs
than there are means to supply.
Committee: A group of persons who keeps minutes
and Wastes hours.
Commuter: A traveling man who pays short visits
to his home and office.
Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do
something after you have done it.
Criminal : One who gets caught.
Cynic: A man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
Diamond : A womans idea of a stepping stone to
success.
Economy: The practice of denying ourselves a
necessity to-day in the hope of buying a luxury
tomorrow.
Experience : A record of a man’s mistakes,
misdeed and misfortunes.
Genius : A man who can almost do anything except
make a living.
Honest Politician: One who when he is bought
will stay bought.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Joint Account: An account in a bank where one
person deposits the money and the other
withdraws.
Laundry : A place where clothes are mangled.
Law-suit: Generally, a matter of expense and
suspense.
Money : The mint makes it first and it is for us
to make it last.
Neighbour: One who knows more about your affairs
than you do.
Obesity: Surplus gone to waist.
Orator: A fellow who is always ready to lay down
you life for his country.
Patriot : a man who loves his country and tries
to make as much out of it as possible.
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the
world.
Philanthropist: One who returns to the people
publicly a small percentage of the wealth he
steals from them privately.
Philosophy: A route of many road leading from
nowhere to nothing.
Public speaking: The out of diluting a
two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
Synonym: A word which you use when you cannot
spell the other one.
What makes the happy ending of some movies is
the mere fact that they have ended, about all
that is necessary for a divorce now is a
wedding.
Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. After
marriages the letter Y is silent. In many
countries, murderers are put to death by
electrolysis.
Autobiography is a history motor cars.
The eastern part of Asia is called authenasia.
Doctors who treat eye diseases are called
optimists.
Romans are so called because they never stayed
in one place.
All strong men have good physics.
When a man is married to one woman it is called
Monotony.
The Golden Rule is that the man who first finds
gold keeps it for himself.
The secret of success is a secret to many
people.
Sunday is the strongest day of a week because
the others are week days.
The difference between a hill and a pill is
this:
A pill is hard to get up and a hill is hard to
get down.
Which is the largest room in the world: the room
for improvement.
A lift man is a person who has seen many ups and
downs in his life.
This man does not save money for the rainy day
because he never shops when it rains.
Hug is a roundabout way of expressing affection.
An example of illegibility is a doctors
prescription written with a post-office pen.
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you diet.
Everyone talks about the weather but no one ever
does Anything's about it.
Eden was the first co-educational institution.
Always borrow from a pessimist because he may
not expect to get it back.
A tax cut is the kindest cut of all.
Dust bin: A bin around which dust is thrown.
Owner-driver tenant: A tenant forcibly evicted
from the house by the land-lord.
Real Friend : A friend who is not in need is a
friend Indeed.
Actor : A person who tries to be everything
except himself.
Adult : An adult is a person who has toffed
growing at both ends and started growing in the
middle.
Bigamist: One who makes the same mistake twice?
Bore: A person whose short coming is his long
staying; And also one who insists on talking
about himself when you Want to talk about
yourself.
Civilization: A process of creating more needs
than there are means to supply.
Committee: A group of persons who keeps minutes
and Wastes hours.
Commuter: A traveling man who pays short visits
to his home and office.
Conscience: The voice that tells you not to do
something after you have done it.
Criminal : One who gets caught.
Cynic: A man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
Diamond : A womans idea of a stepping stone to
success.
Economy: The practice of denying ourselves a
necessity to-day in the hope of buying a luxury
tomorrow.
Experience : A record of a man’s mistakes,
misdeed and misfortunes.
Genius : A man who can almost do anything except
make a living.
Honest Politician: One who when he is bought
will stay bought.
Honesty: Fear of being caught.
Joint Account: An account in a bank where one
person deposits the money and the other
withdraws.
Laundry : A place where clothes are mangled.
Law-suit: Generally, a matter of expense and
suspense.
Money : The mint makes it first and it is for us
to make it last.
Neighbour: One who knows more about your affairs
than you do.
Obesity: Surplus gone to waist.
Orator: A fellow who is always ready to lay down
you life for his country.
Patriot : a man who loves his country and tries
to make as much out of it as possible.
Pedestrian: The most approachable chap in the
world.
Philanthropist: One who returns to the people
publicly a small percentage of the wealth he
steals from them privately.
Philosophy: A route of many road leading from
nowhere to nothing.
Public speaking: The out of diluting a
two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
Synonym: A word which you use when you cannot
spell the other one.
What makes the happy ending of some movies is
the mere fact that they have ended, about all
that is necessary for a divorce now is a
wedding.
Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. After
marriages the letter Y is silent. In many
countries, murderers are put to death by
electrolysis.
Autobiography is a history motor cars.
The eastern part of Asia is called authenasia.
Doctors who treat eye diseases are called
optimists.
Romans are so called because they never stayed
in one place.
All strong men have good physics.
When a man is married to one woman it is called
Monotony.
The Golden Rule is that the man who first finds
gold keeps it for himself.
The secret of success is a secret to many
people.
Sunday is the strongest day of a week because
the others are week days.
The difference between a hill and a pill is
this:
A pill is hard to get up and a hill is hard to
get down.
Which is the largest room in the world: the room
for improvement.
A lift man is a person who has seen many ups and
downs in his life.
This man does not save money for the rainy day
because he never shops when it rains.
Hug is a roundabout way of expressing affection.
An example of illegibility is a doctors
prescription written with a post-office pen.
Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you diet.
Everyone talks about the weather but no one ever
does Anything's about it.
Eden was the first co-educational institution.
Always borrow from a pessimist because he may
not expect to get it back.
A tax cut is the kindest cut of all.
Dust bin: A bin around which dust is thrown.
Owner-driver tenant: A tenant forcibly evicted
from the house by the land-lord.
Real Friend : A friend who is not in need is a
friend Indeed.
