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Automobiles & Accidents Jokes
1Automobiles & Accidents Jokes
Policeman to driver : Did you not hear me call
you to stop?
Driver : I did not know it was you. I thought it
was someone I had run over.
Man to friend : I see you are allowing your
small son to drive the car.
Friend : Yes. He is still too young to be
trusted as a pedestrian.
Magistrate to driver: Witness says that you
neither slowed down or nor tried to avoid the
pedestrian.
Driver : I took all precaution. I blew my horn
and cursed him.
Motorist to friend : What is the best thing to
do when the brakes of one’s car fail?
Friend : Hit something cheap.
Husband : I am thinking of getting rid of my
driver. He has almost killed me four times.
Wife : Oh, why not give him another chance.
Friend to car owner : Why is your car painted
blue on one side and red on the other?
Owner : There is a purpose behind this plan. It
is done in order to make the witnesses
contradict each other in case of an accident.
Second-hand car salesman (on trial ground) :
This car is sound in every part.
Prospective buyer : Yes, I can hear it.
A young woman was speeding through a town when a
policeman stepped out on the road in front of
her and made her stop.
She asked : What wrong have I done?
Policeman : You were going forty miles an hour.
Motorist : Forty miles an hour? How? I have not
been out of my home for an hour.
Man to friend : What would your wife say if you
bought a new car?
Friend : She will say things like these : “Watch
for that traffic light. Don’t hit that truck.
Why don’t you watch where you
Are going? Will you never learn? Etc”.
Policeman to motorist: Don’t you see that sign:
Fine for parking?
Motorist : Yes, I see it and I fully agree with
it
Judge : Why did you run down this man in broad
daylight stretch of road?
Prisoner : Your Honour, the windscreen of my car
was almost totally obscured with “SAFETY FIRST”
posters
Policeman : The horn on your car must be broken.
Motorist : No. it is just indifferent.
Policeman : What do you mean?
Motorist : The horn just does not give a hoot
Policeman to driver : Did you not hear me call
you to stop?
Driver : I did not know it was you. I thought it
was someone I had run over.
Man to friend : I see you are allowing your
small son to drive the car.
Friend : Yes. He is still too young to be
trusted as a pedestrian.
Magistrate to driver: Witness says that you
neither slowed down or nor tried to avoid the
pedestrian.
Driver : I took all precaution. I blew my horn
and cursed him.
Motorist to friend : What is the best thing to
do when the brakes of one’s car fail?
Friend : Hit something cheap.
Husband : I am thinking of getting rid of my
driver. He has almost killed me four times.
Wife : Oh, why not give him another chance.
Friend to car owner : Why is your car painted
blue on one side and red on the other?
Owner : There is a purpose behind this plan. It
is done in order to make the witnesses
contradict each other in case of an accident.
Second-hand car salesman (on trial ground) :
This car is sound in every part.
Prospective buyer : Yes, I can hear it.
A young woman was speeding through a town when a
policeman stepped out on the road in front of
her and made her stop.
She asked : What wrong have I done?
Policeman : You were going forty miles an hour.
Motorist : Forty miles an hour? How? I have not
been out of my home for an hour.
Man to friend : What would your wife say if you
bought a new car?
Friend : She will say things like these : “Watch
for that traffic light. Don’t hit that truck.
Why don’t you watch where you
Are going? Will you never learn? Etc”.
Policeman to motorist: Don’t you see that sign:
Fine for parking?
Motorist : Yes, I see it and I fully agree with
it
Judge : Why did you run down this man in broad
daylight stretch of road?
Prisoner : Your Honour, the windscreen of my car
was almost totally obscured with “SAFETY FIRST”
posters
Policeman : The horn on your car must be broken.
Motorist : No. it is just indifferent.
Policeman : What do you mean?
Motorist : The horn just does not give a hoot
selvasekhar |
Latest page update: made by selvasekhar
, Feb 4 2008, 4:42 AM EST
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Edited by selvasekhar
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